In my head

School is killinggggggg me -______-

I want straight A’s!!!! And I’ve been doing good these past semesters on getting All A’s and one B+…..but this semester is KILLINGGGGG ME.

Not sure if I can enjoy my spring break as much as I want because I’ll be worried for all the things I should be getting a head start in….so I can keep my head above the darn water!

Kay, thats all for now, bye tumblr :)

No one really uses or goes on tumblr anymore. So I’m pretty sure no one if going to read this, but that feels nice and it will feel nice to blog again. Knowing not the whole world is keeping up with tumblr, This is just for me to type it out.

Life is so interesting, it throws the most unexpected curves at you from all directions. So unexpected. And it gives you the most unexpected people to enter in your life at such a random time.

I’ve had to face through obstacles in the past couple months, as if someone out there is testing my positivity and strength. Majority of the obstacles have to do with are car situations (accidents and…accidents -_-) and family conflict. In the end, especially through the car accidents, I am blessed to still be there. And through all this, I have been blessed with other amazing opportunities (LIKE CLUB 33?!?!?!? hahahaha)

With three jobs and being a full time student, life gets really stressful. But I try to keep my head high, every single day. I try. My head whirls me in so many different directions, especially because I am SO hard on myself. When I don’t get a good grade or get an opportunity, I question my abilities and skills. That is the most dangerous damage to myself. Out of all the obstacles, it is myself that is most detrimental. I need to stop that. But it’s so hard for some reason. Through reflection, I learned that I like to keep busy because I am trying to stay away from those stressful, anxious, and negative emotions. Yup. Sounds right.

But to fix this will be a hard thing to do. Trying to understand myself is a hard process. I think this is a process everyone needs to go through, even when you THINK you know yourself so well…..sometimes, you don’t. You have these automatic thoughts or actions…you THINK you know why it’s happening…..but check again, maybe not.

But I must say…..I find it crazy that life throws the right people in my life as I’m going through all this. They help me so much and I am surprised that you, yes you, are sticking by me every step with limitless support and care……..extra points for you :) heh.

such little time. 

life doesn’t slow down for you

that’s not how it works

so make the best of it 

We learn new and intersting things everyday in class. And the reason why I love it so much is because I always can reflect on myself and my life. 

Today we learned about a type of therapy that tries to get clients to accept their responsbiility and freedom of choice in their life. And to live authenciity. Honestly. 

People make a choice everyday, every minute. The way you speak, what you say, how you say it, what you do….it is your choice. The way you look at things, the way you look at other people, the way you decide to treat other people…it is your choice. 

live life genuinely. don’t EVER HIDE from your feelings. Feelings and emotions are REAL. Let them be known, it’s okay. Every single feeling you have is OKAY to feel. Express them. Always. Repression makes everything worse.

Maybe this is why my biggest pet peeve is when people run away or hide from what they’re really feeling.

And I swear, through these classes…..I can tell even more now when people lie about their feelings.

but even more now……when people do, it’s their choice to lie about how they feel. So be it. If they want to live life “inauthenticly”, it’s their choice. You can only reach out so far, but if they want to treat you like that and block, their choice. You can only do what you find meaningful, by genuinely emphasizing or caring for them. It’s their choice to reach back or not. If not, then welp…you tried.  

Acceptance of your past, experiences, memories, challenges, emotions, everything.

Acceptance is key. Acceptance it has happened and things will only get better from here. And YOU will make it better. Acceptance is looking at what had happened with a smile.

Everything has happened for a reason. There’s a reason. Did you find it? Probably not if you’re still moping. Probably not if majority of your thoughts are negative and sad.

me?…Man, I love life. I truly do. I am truly blessed. Truly blessed of my present but most of all, of everything that has happened to lead me where I am now. Every single experience…especially the bad. Which isnt even considered bad now.

Oh man, classes about therapy makes you truly reflect on yourself and your life. I LOVE IT hehehe

it’ll work. trust me